


Unshackled

by KyloThiccc



Category: Journey to Star Wars: The Force Awakens, Mindless Self Indulgence, Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Reality, Alternate Universe - Fusion, Alternate Universe - Star Wars Setting, Angry Kylo Ren, Armitage Hux Has Issues, Armitage Hux Needs A Hug, Awesome Phasma, Bad Decisions, Bad Flirting, Bad Puns, Badass Phasma, Be Careful What You Wish For, Bipolar Disorder, Dark Past, Drunken Confessions, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Eventual Relationships, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, Explicit Language, F/M, Force Bond (Star Wars), Game of Thrones References, Hux Has No Chill, Hux is Not Nice, I Don't Even Know, I Tried, I'm Bad At Summaries, I'm Sorry, Kylo Ren Angst, Kylo Ren Has Issues, Kylo Ren Redemption, Movie Reference, Original Character(s), Past Abuse, Past Child Abuse, Past Drug Addiction, Past Drug Use, Poe Dameron Hurts So Prettily, Protective Kylo Ren, Redemption, References to Law & Order (TV), Rey Kenobi, Rey Needs A Hug, Self-Destruction, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Hatred, Self-Insert, Shameless Smut, Sharing a Bed, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Slow Romance, Slow To Update, So Wrong It's Right, Sorry Not Sorry, Space Husbands, Therapy, There's A Tag For That, Timeline What Timeline, Top Kylo Ren, Triggers, Trolling, What Was I Thinking?, Why Did I Write This?, Writer's Block
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-02
Updated: 2019-02-25
Packaged: 2019-05-09 23:59:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 8
Words: 14,567
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14726093
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KyloThiccc/pseuds/KyloThiccc
Summary: A tear in reality transports me, the writer (hooray for therapy) to the Star Wars Universe. At the height of the First Order taking control of the galaxy. The midichlorians in my blood have awakened, making me Force Sensitive. And Kylo Ren has a particular interest in his new possible apprentice.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Another life, another galaxy](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13822131) by [AllisonWondrrland](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AllisonWondrrland/pseuds/AllisonWondrrland). 



> I don't know fully where I'm going with this. But, I'm rather proud of the chapter!
> 
> Thank you for my two betas:  
> Precursor and MjrGenMatt. <3
> 
>  
> 
> First little bit is from Hux view then it switches to me. 
> 
> This is a therapy piece that I've realized will be very therapeutic for me. I suffered a pretty shit childhood and that will come into play with this fic. I'll mark chapters where abuse is mentioned. I don't want to possibly hurt anyone with it. And I'll mark it in the tags.
> 
> <3

The General sat at his desk going through paperwork of his army. The ginger’s day was just beginning, a monumental test of the prototype, Starkiller. A small barren planet was chosen, uninhabited. The planet had already been stripped of resources - it was the perfect target. The General sipped on his caf, delightful of the future events to take place. Almost giddy. His mood flattened when he heard the doors to his office open. 

  


“What?” He asked, his attitude apparent. One of the lieutenants stood in front of the desk, nervousness emanated from her body. She saluted him but didn't speak. The General made a motion with his hand for her to get on with it. 

  


“Sir! We have a problem.” What little mood that the General had popped like a balloon. 

  


“What happened?” He hissed, setting down his data pad. 

  


“Technicians thought the test firing of the super weapon was an hour ago. They miscalculated and fired into a star. The resulted explosion is catastrophic to the system. It ruptured - I'm not entirely sure. I don't understand the science reports. But,it isn't good. We lost the system. Starkiller barely made the jump.” She straightened herself in preparation of the verbal onslaught. 

  


“WHAAAT?!” He screamed, raising out of his seat. The officer flinched at his reaction, straightening her uniform. 

  


“According to the researchers, a tear in space. A reality tear? I don't know, here's the report sir.” Almost throwing the data pad at her general, she straightened herself yet again, awaiting dismissal. Thankfully, her general waved her away, clearly annoyed by her presence. 

  


So, he read the data pad in disbelief. Shock covered his face. 

  


_ Resulting explosion from the sun caused a gravitational collapse, singularly arose, ripping into what we believe to be a fabric of space time and possibly even realities. We cannot fathom the possibilities and outcomes. This science is above us and theoretical at best. But, we have encountered problems. Since the anomaly, several of our officers have gone missing but our computer system says the crew numbers remain the same on board the Finalizer and the Starkiller. The DNA data of the officers tipped us off towards their disappearance, the officers aren't registering. We searched their quarters and found young adults inside, unconscious and unarmed. Dressed in unusual unprofessional attire. They have been moved to the detention block, awaiting orders from you or Commander Ren to begin interrogation.  _

  


Missing officers?! Imposters?! BLAST, WHAT IS HAPPENING?!  For kriffs sake. 

He gathered his data pad just as it pinged. No surprise the message was from Ren. The annoying kriff was going to be late. Noticing the reason why made the General straighten. Kylo had been summoned by the Supreme Leader. The Generals data pad pinged again just as he was about to leave his office, a message from the officer in charge of the detention block. 

  


**Prisoner 201 has been given serum 93B. Although Medical had to give her a higher dose than recommended. She was confused at first, after noticing my uniform, she became ecstatic only to become just as confused. She kept asking if this was a sick joke before demanding the presence of Lord Ren, Phasma and yourself, sir. She won't stop asking. She requested information on the Starkiller base whether or not it has been completed yet and asked about your father. I'm confused to what the Commandant has to do with her. Let alone the family knowledge she knows about you sir. But, she has no idea where she is in the galaxy, but knows she's on board General Hux’s flagship, the Finalizer.**

  


**Medical officer Caro has cleared her, nothing to out of the ordinary besides several genetic conditions which could be easily rectified. Although, her brain scans were odd. Her lungs have tissue damage , repairing her lungs might be difficult with this scar tissue.  The young woman was flirting with the officer constantly, regardless of our attempts to stop her. We took a blood and tissue samples for further testing.**

  


**Her personal belongings have been moved to quarantine for decontamination. She had several large suitcases in her possession when she was found in Officer Nikahla’s quarters. Two electronic devices were found as well sir. The devices are not connected to the extranet. No explosive residue was found. The two devices appear to be harmless, she claims her “computer” was used for entertainment only. And her “phone”, the smaller device was used for music and keeping in touch with friends and family. Indicators of the truth serum we injected her with, say she's telling the truth sir. Her constant jibber is becoming unbearable. According to her, she** **_talks_ ** **when she's nervous. Along with the serum. Sir, please relieve us. We've been listening to her for four hours.**

  


This creature of a woman was making his officers beg to be released from their shift.  _ Just how annoying is she?  _

  


Nothing could have EVER prepared the General for what he witnessed next. 

  
  
  
  
  


Rachel -

  
  


Strapped into a weird as fuck chair was not what I expected when I woke up. I’ve been in this chair for HOURS. Just saying, this chair is not comfy. At all. Let alone I wasn't in Boston. Or you know… Laying face down on the  frozen pavement. I remember a blast? Getting knocked off my feet. Managed to somehow keep a hold of my luggage though. I'm impressed actually. Was going to visit my adopted mother; which was always amazing, she made me feel normal, loved. Where my biological mother hardly ever did, unless it benefitted her somehow. The black steel? Whatever the fuck this metal bullshit is. Shiny though. Like, no streaks or hand prints. God, their housekeepers must HATE their jobs. Been there, had that kind of job. Fuck that. Fuck all that. Fuck everything about it. Hearing the door swipe open brought me out of my trance of remembrance of stupid jobs I've had. 

  


A handsome man stood in front of me, his uniform immediately stood out to me. Where were the three doctors who were in here earlier? Wait. Is that? That CAN'T be a First Order uniform? Where did this cocksucker get such a nice replica? Wait a minute. I don’t think he's role playing. That’s a shame. WAIT!! What the fuck is going on? What kind of sick game is this? Sure, I've had a fantasy or two of screwing a guy in General Hux’s uniform and great coat. Let alone Hux himself. Mmm. NO, offtrack Rachel. Get back on course. 

  


This bastard obviously isn't Hux. Hard to miss that cherry ginger goodness. But damn he was good looking. His dark brown evenly cut hair brimmed beautifully with his First Order cap. His pale skin a nice contrast to the black uniform,  he most DEFINITELY filled out. Nicely. Amazingly. That chiseled face with a button nose and full pink lips. Most definitely eye candy. He made no attempts to enter the room further or to speak to me.  _ Really? Am I this horrible? Do I smell? I probably smell.  _ Couldn't help myself, I leaned over as best as I could (being shackled kinda sucks) to sniff my armpit. The look of disgust radiating from him was more than enough to cause me to laugh. It was hilarious! The way his brow creased. His face contorted. Oh my god. That, was a laugh I definitely needed.  

  


“What? I needed to be sure I didn't stink. Nobody needs that shit.” Again, the contorted face was back and I couldn't help the snort that passed through me. The Officers face dropped and went into a sneer. 

  


“You best stop this, girl.” He threatened. He made it too easy. WAY too easy. 

  


“Don't you threaten me with a good time.” The man's eyes flung wide, staring at me wildly. Did I burst his little torturistic vibes? Awe. Poor soul. The sneer was back almost in an instant. 

  


“Were you not hugged enough as a child? Neither was I. But that didn't make me have a broom shoved up my ass 24/7.”

  


“EXCUSE ME?” The officer was quick to drop the sneer again. In fact, he straightened himself like he DID have a broom handle shoved squarely up his ass. Was this guy not used to trolling? Has this guy seriously never been trolled? Not once. Oh. Oh. Oh. This is gonna be glorious. 

  


“I almost feel bad for you. Must really hurt sitting down. That stick must be ever so lodged into your colon. I feel bad for you son. Must be way you always stand at attention. The broomstick is shoved so far up your ass that you're constantly in that pissy self-righteous mood? Oh man. You poor soul. Perhaps the doctors here can help a bro out.” 

  


The officer brought up his hand to strike my face. Nothing new there. I didn't even even flinch when the back of his hand ungracefully hit my left cheek. Oh this fucking bastard. THIS BASTARD. The rampant mood swing, I could feel it brewing. My blood boiled towards this cunt of a human being. This time, I sneered at him. My nostrils flared and I could feel my face reddening. Fuck this man. I hate him. 

  


“You should NOT have done that.” I shouted at him. The room instantly became cold and the air muggy. The beautiful douchebros face drained of color as I imagined crushing his windpipe. Only, I wasn't imagining it. I was doing it. Suddenly, I felt paralyzed by my own fear. What had I done? Why had I done it? He continued to choke until I willed myself to stop imagining it. I had hurt another for selfish revenge. That was disgusting of me. Why did I do that? HOW did I do that? The once choking officer clung to his throat briefly before calling out for Force Resistant shackle collar. WAIT WHAT?! I WAS CONTROLLING THE FORCE????? HOW?! 

  


Two Stormtroopers waltz in, one holding the shackle and the other aiming his SC-44C at my head. 

“No, no, no, no, no.” I whispered quietly at the trooper binding my neck with the collar. The tortuous officer flicked the switch to activate the collar left me breathless. I've never experienced losing what felt like part of me, but that's what it felt like. Like a piece of me had switched off. Being “new” to the Force… I don't know how else to describe it. 

  


“You feel better now?” I spat at that asshole of an officer. HE FUCKING SMILED AT ME! Fuck this man. Cockjuggling Thundercunt! How dare! Who in the flying fuck does he think he is? I've never been this angry in my life. And all over a literal slap to the face? The asshole officer grabbed what I assumed was a torture device from his ‘kit’ and held it to my face. The electricity it produced made my body spasm hard. My mind went blank and rolled. Luckily, the door to whatever the room. Making the douche of officer immediately drop his device to stand at attention. I couldn't see who had entered the room, but I knew the voice. 

  


“What in the stars are you doing?!” General Hux demanded. 

  


My instant giggling didn't go unnoticed by nobody in the room. 

  


“You done fucked up boy.”

  


“Unshackle her at once!” Hux ordered his little minions. 

  


“Sir, she's Force Sensitive. We can't.” The officer couldn't get any straighter at the sight of General Hux. To which, I could NOT stop snickering. Earning a harsh glare from General Cherry. His glare didn't stop me from snickering. If anything, it made my snickering turn into giggling. 

  


“At the demand of the Supreme Leader. You will unshackle her.” The officer was frozen by the Generals words. My snickering had increased to full on laughter. 

  


“Nacho Supreme wants an audience?! Hahaha! This is fantastic. Get me the fuck outta these.” I tensed under the restraints to show them I wanted out, hearing the metal clinking together. The General motioned for his troopers to unshackle me. With a whoosh, that feeling that was suppressed came back in a rush. I inhaled deeply through my nose. I closed my eyes reaching out to with my mind and I felt him. I immediately knew who it was and he was reaching out to me as well. The signature was dark and furious. Kylo Ren was reaching right back. 

  


“Your mental walls are impressive.” His voice rang clear through my mind, echoing slightly. 

  


“I let you in.” Kylo chuckled lightly at this. I could feel him smiling. 

  


“Yes, you did. You learn quick and independently. It's extraordinary.”

  


“Yeah well, I've had to be a quick study with mental bullshitery.” 

  


“Can I see why?” Kylo was asking for permission to see some of my memories? Why? He didn't need a reason. Not yet anyway. 

  


“No.” With that, I shoved him out completely. Opening my eyes to see General Hux again who was studying my face. We were alone now much to my amusement. Time to make General Cherry squirm a little. 

  


“Lead the way to Snoke then, Armitage. I’d like to see Millicent by the way. One of these days.” The General paled and his blue-green eyes widened to the size of saucers. 

  


“How do you know that? You didn't invade my mind. I would have felt it. HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT?!” A loud snicker was my answer to his questions. I did the unthinkable, I pushed passed him to leave the cell, walking into the hall of the Finalizer. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the kudos and comments!! 
> 
> Any kind of input would be awesome. 
> 
> <3

Walking through the halls of the Finalizer was incredible. Almost like being on the set but a MILLION times better. Officers and Stormtroopers wandered the halls with evened grace, either way. A few bumped into me producing a few ‘Watch where you're going’s’. I stopped in my  tracks and began to laugh. This is incredible. It's real. All of Star Wars in another reality is real? I couldn't help being giddy about my situation. THIS IS AAAMMMAAZZZIIIING!! Like a giant LARP session with the actors. I stopped to admire a mid cross section of several corridors. Little black mouse droids sped by my feet, officers looked up from their datapads to observe me with confusion. My clothing was obviously out of place. With my N7 leather jacket, Doctor Who shirt, dark navy blue skinny jeans and combat boots. Oh, yeah. I didn't mention that half my head was shaved? I bet that frazzled those silly officers. And glasses. I don't think they've ever seen someone with glasses. Not once have I ever seen a person in Star Wars wear glasses. Nor was it wrote into the novalizations. Not that I remember. Think think, think damn it. Nope. Nothing. Fuck. This is going to bug me for a while. 

 

The Durasteel walls shined and glittered with cleanliness. The smell of antiseptic and cleaning chemicals hit me like a brick wall. Fucking disgusting. Bleach? Ugh. Killjoy. I hate the smell of chemicals. Too many bad memories and shit jobs, the smells brought back my biological mom. No. Don't do that. Stop. Will I ever see her again? Hear her voice?  _ STOP _ ! Granted, I love her because she's my mom. But, I wouldn't fully say she deserves unconditional love. She hurt me. Stop. Don't think about it. 

The hustling footsteps behind me meant that General Armitage Hux was making his way over. I figured that they belonged to him, I remember Kylo having quite heavy footsteps in the movies. 

 

“I must know. Where did you learn this information? Did you purchase it? Does the First Order have spies amongst us?” To others he sounded as calm as ever, but I could tell he was notably panicked.Turning to face him, my face lit up with a giant smile. To troll even further, I flipped my blonde hair into his face. He coughed slightly, I could feel his discomfort oozing off him. 

“You don't have a breach or a spy. Where I'm…” I trailed off, thinking about telling him. This fuck wouldn't believe me. I mean. I DOUBT he would. I sure wouldn't. If someone came to me and said, ‘Hey, you're writing about my life.’ I'd straight up tell them they were full of shit and that they needed a psychiatrist. Armitage Hux remained in front me with a curious, yet still slightly panicked, face. I sighed, conveying I was annoyed. 

 

“Look, it'll sound insane. But trust me there's no breach of anything. You don't have a spy either. I mean, I don't know if you've done you know what with Phasma yet.” Again, the General looked like he was about to faint. He grabbed my arm pulling me close, almost in a threatening manner. I could smell the coffee on his breath. His blue eyes narrowed and were full of ice. 

 

“I don't know who you are, how you appeared on my ship, or how you know so much about events that are still in play. But make no doubts, if you spread any word of what you know regarding Phasma. Know this, I will personally execute you.”

He tightened his grip slightly before I yanked his hand off my arm. I couldn't help but sneer up at him. I straightened my jacket before I spoke softly. 

 

“Why would I do that? He’s a monster. What he did to you. What he did to the other students. The things he made you do to them. That's a man who doesn't deserve to live. I know we're in a public place. But, this man; we both know who he is. He's a piece of shit. Just remember to not be him. Be your own man. Your own self. Do better than he ever could. Show kindness whenever you can. Mercy, kindness. They’re the simplest currency. Remember that.” I patted his cheek several times before walking on. Navigating the Finalizer wasn't easy, but I just followed the trail to Kylo Ren. 

 

His signature was intense, as if he was meditating although somewhat at peace. I mean, at peace for Kylo. Probably. Doubtful though, from what I've felt. The man is ALWAYS on edge. Since I got here; be it a few hours, he'd been constantly there at back of my mind like a Trojan horse, just waiting for an opportunity to spring. Walking towards the direction I felt to be correct, through what I guess through the Force, with Hux at my heel. The Force is a whole new territory. Feeling the pull of two dark beings. I could only assume them to be Snoke and Kylo. Fuck, I'm gonna have horrible headache later. Migraine. Uuuugh. A pull in the back of my mind. My neck feels so heavy. 

 

The General stopped me by placing a hand on my shoulder before I entered through the giant black doors to meet Kylo. I looked down at his hand briefly, sneering that he had the audacity to touch me without permission. Remembering I had smacked his face earlier, oh fuck, I'm a hypocrite. My mood shifted, I could feel my face softening. Hux no longer held a concerned stern face. 

 

“Snoke will enter your mind. It's easier to let him. Less painful.” Awe. It’s like he almost cares. I gave him a soft smile before entering the room alone. Fucking Snoke. Awesome. My nerves already felt like they were on fire. Snoke’s “projector” room… Holy shit. The place is unnecessarily massive. Dark and cryptic. 

 

“My child.” Snoke’s easily recognizable voice boomed, chilling my veins. Panic spread through me when I saw his giant image appear above the dark kneeling person (really Kylo?) Soothing the panic, I looked up at Snoke's disfigured face. Ugh, he's even uglier in person than on film. Like, puking on site worthy. Where's my barf bag? 

 

“I'm not your child.” I snarled up at him, shaking slightly. Snoke only laughed at me. 

 

“Such fire. Good. Use that in your studies of the Force. Your blood awakened the moment you materialized. Fascinating. Truly fascinating. Come closer child.” I kept my feet planted, just inside the door. Snoke sighed deeply at my hesitation. Using the Force, he pulled me closer to the kneeling Kylo. 

 

“I sense a great deal of Light within you, 

dear girl, as well as immense darkness. You are the balance of the Force. Both sides echo around and through you. Neither Sith nor Jedi. Balanced.” Snoke turned to look at the bowing Kylo who had shifted to meet his master’s gaze. 

 

“You could learn from this young woman on how to control that foul temper.” Snoke turned back to me only to ask how I manage myself. Not like it took a scientist. Or a doctor. Well, okay that isn't true. What strikes me is that Snoke has yet to invade my mind. Not once. He hasn't even tried. 

 

“Through medication.” Snoke only laughed at my answer, mocking me. That cunt. His laughter a low, deep rumble causing me to want to disappear into the shadows. So. Fucking. Uncomfortable.  

 

“Medicine? No. You must - discontinue this medication. The Light will sustain you. Your unpredictability with your moods will make you stronger through the Dark Side of the Force. Channel it. Now, I must have a word with my overly eager apprentice about your training. Leave us.” Snoke swiped his hand, the invisible force pushing me away from Kylo towards the door. That fuck! He couldn't just dismiss me like that. Well, he can. And did. No! This isn't right. I had a right to know about my “training”. Snoke wants me off my medication which won't happen. Oh wait. I only had the prescription for a three months supply. I had refilled it the day before I left for the train to cross the country to be with my mom. Oh no. This isn't good! This isn't good at all! I'll need to talk to Hux about this. 

 

I turned away from the door, storming my way back to Kylo Ren. Snoke could clearly see something was amiss with the attitude I was projecting to him. 

 

“I have EVERY right to know about future training regarding myself. There are medical restrictions. My lungs-” Snoke raised his hand, silencing me. I looked over at Kylo who was staring wide eyed at me, as if I had broken a prized artifact or something. Snoke's laughter brought me out of the trance of staring into Kylo’s wide beautiful dark chocolate eyes. 

 

“The fire inside you. As for your medical insecurities, go speak with Hux in medical. Your training will begin tomorrow at dawn.” Snoke began to address Kylo before I rudely interrupted him. 

 

OOOOOH FUCK NO! 

 

“No.”  

 

“You dare! Know your place, girl!” That once gentle force that had ushered me towards the door, knocked me onto the floor busting my lip open and my nose cracked against the metal. Blood flowed down my chin from my nose. 

 

“I have to have set schedules. Per my doctor's orders. I hardly ever sleep, I take medicine for that as well. Making it impossible for me to be up at  _ dawn.  _ Let alone  _ THIS _ !” I motioned to my face, glaring up at the disgusting man. Snoke’s eyes softened somehow. 

 

“Apologies. I know how doctors can be, putting restrictions on the body. Kylo will wake you when appropriate. The boy will wake you through the Force. Go to medical child.” The gentle force guided me back to the door. This time, I went through it to see General Armitage Hux's back to me. The doors closed loudly behind me breaking Hux out of whatever he was doing. Turning to face me, I could see his datapad in right hand glowing orange slightly. 

 

“Stars!” Hux shouted. Dropping his datapad to reach into his pocket to grab a black silk handkerchief, violently shaking it then guiding it to my nose. He tilted my head back shushing my protests. 

 

“I told you to let him in.” He grumbled, pinching my busted nose in a pathetic attempt to quell the bleeding. Fuck, seriously this hurts. I've busted my nose before but this hurts like an SOB. 

 

“Armitage, he didn't even try.” I didn't even have to look at him, the sharp inhale. I could feel is scolding. 

 

“Oh for fucks sake. We're the only ones here.” Hux continued to visually scold me. 

 

“UGH FINE! HUX!” I could feel his amusement oozing through him. That bitch. 

 

“You are not permitted to use that name.” 

 

I huffed at him, glaring slightly as he pinched my nose again. Tilting my head back, holding the handkerchief to my nose. Holy mother of dragons. MY. FUCKING. NOSE. 

 

“Come, let's get you to medical.” Hux whispered.  He placed my hand to the handkerchief on top of his. Well, that was forward… He grabbed my arm, guiding me to the closest medical station. 

This is a great start to my journey. Ugh. Screw this. 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HOLY SHIT THE KUDOS! 
> 
> SPEECHLESS
> 
> <3

Hux basically dragged me into medical, with my extreme protest mind you. I AM FINE!! Maybe a small concussion but I'm fiiine.

 

“Hux, please I don't do well in hospitals. Or crowds. With people in general. Heh. Pun unintended. But still…” My train of thought was cut off by the MASSIVE scowl covering Hux’s face. I sighed, my shoulders drooping. The bastard wins this round. Still holding the black silk handkerchief, oooh so soft, to my nose. I let Hux guide me to the back room of the medical unit. Between troopers and medical officers.  WHY ARE WE BACK HERE? My eyes screamed at him for an explanation. Hux only rolled his eyes and huffed at me.

 

“The back has more privacy and is known for being reserved for high ranking officers.” Narrowing my eyes at him, he scowled in return. Stalemate. Battle of the wills. Of course, I can be stubborn. But MY NOSE HURTS AND IS STILL BLEEDING! I looked away from the smirking Hux, noticing he won the game.

 

“You're not an officer, clearly. But you're a Force wielder like Ren. If I know the Commander, and I do, the blasted man will want you to be a part of his Knights of Ren.”

 MY. FUCKING. GOD. YYYEESS!! My sharp inhale didn't go unnoticed by Hux. He knew, I knew what the Knights of Ren were. The gigantic smile across my face.

 

“How do you know so much?” I pucker my lips at the question. How the fuck do I explain this? Scrunching my face, I sighed as loud as I could. He's gonna think I'm insane. Well, fuck it.

 

“If I told you. You'd have me committed.” Hux chuckled at that. Woah, he had a small trace of a sense of humor?

 

“I just might. My curiosity is getting the better of me.” He persisted.

 

“Damn dude. I want to, but, I can't. You would NOT believe me. Not a chance. You will either tell me I'm lying and making it all up. Or, you believe me and use the information I have. Ooooor, you believe it's all in my head. I believe all of these possibilities could and would happen. Specially the using part. That one without a doubt. But, I can see from the frown on your face that you don't care and want me to get on with it.” A nurse tried to enter the room but Hux immediately shooed her away. He wanted to hear what I had to say. Of course he did. I knew things only he and Phasma knew. Alone once more, I leaned closer to him, whispering.

 

“Where I'm from. This-” I gestured to our surroundings, “All of this is from a story. Literally a trilogy of movies… And books. Ranging from thousands of years ago to the presence of the First Order. I know how the Galactic Empire rose and how they fell. I know about Darth Revan and his apprentice Darth Malek. How the Republic and the Jedi lost then rose from the ashes countless times. I know you're Arkanisian but left the planet shortly after the Battle of Jakku to the Unknown Regions with your father. I know all about how you are the bastard of Brendol Hux and a kitchen worker. Not that THAT matters. I mean, to douchecanoe Imperial cuntbags. I can see how they'd have a problem with being a bastard. Those elitist assholes. I know how you plan to use Phasma to assassinate your father, Brendol Hux. I know about the Crimson operative, who goes by Cardinal, that knows about your dealings-” Hux grabbed my wrist, stopping me from talking with my hands. He pulled me close. Our noses almost touching. Well, this is just awkward. Because what he just did. Towering over me… Just shot warm gooey feelings around my body. I hope to the Maker, WHOMEVER, the stars… THE FORCE! I was not projecting my feelings. Let alone have the angsty Kylo Ren feel them. Whiiiich, he probably will.

 

“What? Crimson? Operative?” I couldn't help but shudder at this. His breath on my face, lightly smelling like coffee I smelled before. But, I could smell Hux himself. His cologne. Aftershave. Whatever it was. Fucking amazing. Cinnamon, frankincense, and myrrh with a beautiful musk I can't place. But Jeebus. Talk about amazing wiffs. Seriously, how and why is this red headed fuck so handsome? Those sideburns are GLORIOUS. Those beautiful ice blue eyes. I'd bet he'd look even better with ruffled hair. A piece of hair just sssllliiightly out of place would be enough. Hhnnnghh.

 

“Do you have a Resistance spy on board the Battlecruiser Absolution?” I asked softly. His eyes narrowed then immediately widened as if accepting my impossible story. Asshole brought me out of my daydreaming.

 

“We captured one, yes.”

 

“She's being interrogated by a crimson - armored Stormtrooper, aka Cardinal. He doesn’t care about information regarding the Resistance. The information he wants is about the assassination of Commandant Brendol Hux and he will get the information. And he will sell it to the highest bidder. He's a turncoat.” General Hux looked as though I had slapped him across the face, staring blankly at the dark Durasteel wall behind me.

 

“I, uh. This needs to be taken care of immediately.” Hux pondered, talking to himself. Wait, was he referring to my nose or to his ‘issue’. Most likely his issue. It was more pressing. Hux left me in the room alone for a few minutes before the nurse he had made leave earlier during my story time returned.

 

“Hello there! Im Nurse Xara” Holy shit this woman is too giddy to be in the First Order. That was too welcoming. What is this? Her voice was almost a shrill. Ugh. No wonder Hux sent her away earlier. He probably hated her voice just as much as I do. She can't be THAT bad. Just her voice. Make it stop.

 

“Uh - hi.” I gave her a small wave as she wandered towards me. She held small devices in her hands and when she noticed me eyeing them. She properly showed me.

“This one here,” She held it out in front of her, letting me get a good look. “Is for measuring your blood count. And this one, is for taking vitals. And finally, this one. Will be used to close any wounds. Your nose stopped bleeding shortly before I came in but, I'd still like to close the wound after I clean it.” I nodded to head, letting her take my vitals, check my eyes then clean the large deposit of blood down my chin. My Doctor Who shirt fucking ruined by the blood seeping down the front. Great. No replacement either. GOD DAMN IT. I huffed through my nostrils, startingling the nurse. She backed away slightly, letting me calm down before getting back to work on my nose. She titled my head up to clean the under part of my nose causing me to sniffle.

 

“I'm assuming you've dealt with Kylo Ren on occasion, I mean you're this wary of ‘Force Users’ like me. Honestly, I don't even know how I'm Force Sensitive.” The nurse hummed at the mention of Kylo Ren. Ah. She's definitely has dealt with his tantrums. Looking up at her, I finally got a look at what she looks like. Her dark skin was flawless and beautiful. Her black hair tightly tied at the nap of her neck in the traditional First Order bun. The white medical uniform contrasting her completely. She's gorgeous. Simply breathtaking. Just her fucking voice. Annoying as fuck.

 

“Well, your nose isn't broken. Consider yourself lucky. I've patched up both the General and the Commander much worse after dealings with Supreme Leader Snoke.” Xara stopped completely, her eyes went wide.

“I should not have said that. Forget I said that.” She demanded, her face distorted with fear. She pointed at me, which I couldn't help but smile at her discomfort. Or rather, her mannerism to her discomfort.

 

“Forget what?” Xara opened her mouth to repeat what she said before stopping herself. She responded by smiling at me, then proceeded to get back to work on my nose.

 

“You, my dear, are all set. Try not to annoy the Supreme Leader anymore. Okay? I don't want you to end up here again.” She grinned at me as she gathered her devices. Leaving with a small wave, I was now alone. Take it in Rachel. You're fine.

 

The dark shroud of Kylo Ren’s aura felt like a cancer on towards my brain. Like an infection trying to invade to shroud me in darkness. I don't need his demons added to mine. I got more than enough of my own. Hearing this thudding heavy footsteps through the med station, echoing in my head. Fuck, here we go. He entered the room, showing his beautiful face once again covered by that kick ass, yet stupid, helmet.

 

“Get up.” He demanded, attempting to tower over me like Hux did. I continued to be stationary at the hospital bed I sat on. The distorted growl came from the mask put my nerves on edge, causing me to straighten my back.

“Get. Up.” He repeated. Slowly, I rose from the bed.

 

“Don't like when people disobey you? Makes you feel inadequate doesn't it?” Seeing him reach for the saber at his side. Oh shit. Oh fuck. Oh no.

 

“You don't know anything about me, girl.” I couldn't help myself. I straight up laughed in the Master of the Knights of Rens face. Well… Mask. Same thing.

 

“I may not know many details regarding you. But, I know a lot. I know you're the son of Leia Organa and Han Solo.”

 

“DO NOT MENTION THEIR NAMES!” Kylo fully reached for his saber, attempting to strike me. He actually scared me for the first time ever. I screamed as loud as I could.  Watching Kylo stumble back as though the wind was knocked from him, his saber deactivated and crashed beside me. I just Force screamed! HOLY FUCK!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ZZZOMMMFGG
> 
> The explosion of hits and kudos! I can't believe people actually want to read this... And that they enjoy it. Sorry that I've been slow on the update for this story. I've been writing fanfics aaaand been royally playing Detroit: Become Human. 
> 
> Plus... Working. A lot. 
> 
> Sorry. 
> 
> <3

I can't believe I just used Force Scream. And against Kylo Ren, of all people. The scream barely fazed him but I could feel his discomfort, his ear drums had been slightly rattled. Hearing the grinding of his teeth against the Force blast I sent his way, medical staff and devices scattering.

 

“If you weren't such a cunt! Demanding things like a spoiled child! Maybe? Just maybe, you'd be respected more. GROW THE FUCK UP!” I put as much force as I could into the last sentence, causing Ren to topple over. The screams of the medical staff brought me back to the present. Kylo Ren on the floor, gripping his ears through his helmet. Oh no. Looking up from Ren sprawled across the floor, I saw Hux. We stared at each other, eyes locked, not giving in to look away first. 

 

“What did you do?” He demanded; pulling me out of the back room, away from Kylo Ren. My heartbeat was erratic, my breath uncontrollable and panicky. Only after he pulled me away from Ren did I notice, Hux wasn't talking to me. He was demanding an explanation from Kylo, still dazed on the floor. Hux pressed himself in front of me acting like a shield. 

 

“She needs to be settled into her quarters.” Kylo gasped, taking deep mangled breaths as he rose to his knees. Blood rose to my face, my face bright red. My hands jumbled at my sides. This fucking bastard! Pushing Hux away from me, I stood in front of Kylo. Completely unwavering. 

 

“And that’s how you go about it? If you had just asked nicely! You threatened me, you asshole. You went for your saber. I was only defending myself. Why couldn't you just be like a normal, decent person? I’ll assume you've heard these words many times. I'm disappointed in you.” Half tempted to scream at him again, Kylo shifted his gaze from Hux to me. Feeling his fury cascading through my bones and warping my mind. My heart feels like it’s on fire. Kylo continued to kneel, projecting his feelings towards me. Pain, resentment, sorrow, regret. Was this his way of apologizing? 

 

“Are you apologizing?” I asked him, kneeling down next to him. Kylo’s only response was a swift nod. Well, that was a quick back peddle. 

“Kylo, you need to learn to treat people the way you’d like to be treated. I’d bet my entire account balance that you would dislike me if I had threatened you with a lightsaber. Demanding things from you. You'd immediately hate me. Probably would want to kill me. Am I right? I'm right.” 

I let Hux tug me away from the angsty Kylo and out of the med station. He spoke as we walked to what I guessed it was to my quarters. 

 

“Ren is unpredictable and chaotic. Whatever you do, don't trust him.”

 

“And I should trust you? A man who has been shown to have sadistic tendencies. Neither of you have earned my trust.” Hux glared at me; pushing me in front of him, guiding me through the halls with a slight push in the direction he wanted. 

 

“You don't know everything about me.” Hux grumbled under his breath. I stopped full throttle, he slammed into my back. I whirled around to face him, showing my hatred  for him in the moment. 

 

“You are committed soldier to this cause with laser-like focus on achieving the First Order's ends. You used the destruction of Parnassos as an excuse to enlist Phasma and you continue to manipulate her. The abuse you endured was horrific, so you have to show the galaxy just how angry you are. You take out your frustrations out on prisoners and spies you find. You hurt your employees, you treat your Stormtroopers like cattle for slaughter at your beck and call. Absolute power corrupts. And you were corrupted the moment you were given it. With your fantasies of being the Supreme Leader of the galaxy or at best the next Tarkin. You're pathetic.” I practically, no, I did shout it in his face. In front of several officers, who were staring at me for having the audacity to personally insult and spout information about their precious General. Hux grabbed my arm, yanking me to walk beside him to my quarters, lecturing in a small commanding voice. 

 

“Do not EVER scandalize me like that in front of personnel. I will have you flogged.” I jerked my arm out from his, letting the Force I commanded make the great General come to a halt. I aimed it at him, pushing him slightly away from me. Only using the Force as a tool to get him away, I didn't want Hux to fear me like all Force wielders. Hux is afraid of them. He sees them as a threat. Mindless Imperialist propaganda he was force fed as a child. 

 

“I'm not Kylo Ren or Snoke. You don't have to worry about me lashing out towards you, but I don't take kindly to threats. You're not invisible Armitage. It's okay to have weakness. Making mistakes is better than faking perfection. That's what your First Order has always done. That's what the Empire did. And that's why failed. I believed in the Empire through trade and stability of the outer rim planets. But the Empire as a whole; how it conducted itself, downright vile and evil. All for the purpose of one man: Darth Plageuis. Whom you revere as the Great Emperor. That was not a man worthy to be worshipped. He was hateful. He murdered so many innocents for personal gain. Just like you have. You didn't deserve the beating you were given. Just like those people didn't deserve to be snuffed out for simply existing! YOU DON'T GET TO DECIDE IF SOMEONE'S LIFE ISN'T WORTH LIVING! WHY CAN’T YOU BE BETTER THAN THEM?!” My fingertips were electrified, shooting off a voltage towards a panel next to Hux. We exchanged looks of horror before I sat down on to the cold Durasteel floor. Need to calm down. I need to calm down. I rocked myself back and forth whispering I was sorry to Hux. His face looked between a mixture of annoyance and melancholy. Completely undecided. I looked back at my hands, they were shaking. I bawled my hands into tights fists, my knuckles turning white. 

 

“I didn't mean to get so angry. I don't want you to fear me. Just, I want you to understand. That,” I paused for a bit, trying to remember that inspirational quote I saw on my Facebook timeline, “Morality is doing what's right, regardless of what you're told. The surest way to lose your self-worth is by trying to find it through the eyes of others. Just, be a better man that your father. Than Snoke. Hell, even Kylo Ren. You're both better than that piece of shit.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm trying to make Huxleberry and Kylo Renciles to be better people. DAMN IT, THEY SHOULD KNOW BETTER! D<
> 
> Redemption can be a long path. One, I believe both are capable and willing to do. Except Hux. He's been indoctrinated by the Empire. That'll take extra elbow grease. 
> 
> Next chapter will resolve around training with Kylo with practice sabers!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the kudos and everything! 
> 
> I know I said that the last chapter would be with lightsabers and stuff. My brain gave me this. 
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

 

Hux practically dragged me into my room, leaving me with a snit of annoyance. Hearing the puff of  _ ‘scum’ _ as he left. As soon as the doors closed behind him, I curled into a ball.

 

Panic rushed through my veins, I could feel the adrenaline surging through me; The Force whisking around my body and through it. I could feel every soul on board this massive ship, floating through empty space. Feeling through the power, my chest heaving, I reached out for Kylo Ren. The response he gave felt like a dark, warm cloak wrapping around my body. 

 

_ “Deep breaths. I'm not going anywhere.” _

 

Of course, I was projecting in my panic. Even across the ship, he could see my anxiety coming off like waves. Breathing deep through my nose and out through my mouth, but my heart was still pounding in my chest. 

 

_ “Shhh. Calm yourself. I can feel the Force pulsing around you. You must calm down.” _

 

_ “That's rich. Coming from you.”  _ The huff that escaped Kylo was one of bitter contempt. Like he couldn't understand why I thought of him this way. Well. Um like. Hello? Dude. Have you seen yourself? 

 

_ “Perhaps, or would you rather have Snoke-” _

 

_ “No! Anybody but him. I don't trust him.” Uncertainty drowned Kylo’s aura briefly before he switched his focus to me.  _

 

_ “You should. He can help you.” _

 

_ “You mean break me? Wear me down for his needs? No thank you.” _

 

_ “Snoke needs us, just as much as we need him. Let him guide you.”  _

 

Fucking really? Let Snoke guide me down a path I don't want. At all. My anxiety dissipated like melting ice. 

 

_ “You're projecting again. I can sense your hatred for Snoke and you've only met him today. Tell me, why do you hate him so? What has he done to you?”  _

 

I gritted my teeth at the mention of Snoke. Kylo won't understand my hatred. Nobody but Hux would truly understand. 

 

_ “Because Snoke is vile and cruel. He corrupted you. He made you into his image. And you hate yourself for it. His whispers always at your ear, even before you knew who he was. Then when Luke-” _

 

_ “Stop.” _

 

_ “Why? A touchy subject? I know what he did but there's more to it. Luke was about to give into bis urges to the dark side but just has he stopped himself, you saw him. His lightsaber pointed at you, ready to strike. And you protected yourself, then in the process, you murdered innocents by association.” _

 

_ “STOP!” _

 

_ “Why?!” _

 

The ambience emitted from Kylo felt maddening. Chaotic and lawless. Did he feel he was right? When he murdered the students, did he feel he was justified? 

 

_ “I don't want think about them. Please, can you respect that?”  _

 

Oh, oh no. Did I seriously jump the gun too far? Did I push too far? Why did I even push in the first place? Oh, I dunno. Both Hux and Kylo can be better if they tried to. But the both of them have had too much time around Imperialists and Snoke. Fucks sake! I won't be able to win their minds. Not like this. 

 

_ “I'm sorry. It’s just, I -.” _ Bringing my mental walls back up like watchtowers, I felt guilty. Guilty that I didn't respect Kylo as he helped me through an anxiety attack. I pushed my agenda on him. 

 

_ “You have no need to apologize. But, I'll accept it. For your sake.” _

 

His aura t’was all of humor. I sensed his brewing grin, his lips twitched as he attempted to stop himself from smiling. I giggled at his attempt to hide; as soon as he heard my giggle, his laughter erupted from him. Loud and booming, gorgeous laughter. And I want to hear it more. 

 

_ “I made sure the techs brought back your electronics. They noticed the batteries were ion charged. You won't have to worry about the batteries dissipating on you. They retrofitted your smaller device to be compatible with that of the ExtraNet and our charging stations if need be. The techs left your music ‘app’ and your photos but everything else was wiped. I'm sorry.” _

 

_ “My files?”  _ I basically screamed at him, panic surging again. I can't lose my only source of life before this. Only been seven hours. But, I honestly don't think I'm getting back home anytime soon. 

 

_ “They're safe. Pictures and your unique taste of music. To see Hux’s face when the song played, I believe it was called Uptown Funk. Priceless, thank you for that. The techs enjoyed majority of the song before Hux forced them to turn it off.” _

 

Hux listened to Uptown Funk by Mark Ronson and Bruno Mars? That's… FUCKING HILARIOUS! I burst into laughter; along with Kylo who continued to giggle himself, obviously finding it just as humorous. 

 

_ “Well, music is a big part of my life. I love music. And Uptown Funk is one of my feel good songs. Alongside Whip It by DEVO. I'll have to show you sometime.” _

 

_ “I'd like that very much. From what I heard, I did enjoy the song You're Going Down by Sick Puppies. Interesting name.” _

 

_ “Oh, yeah. That song is a fight song of mine.” _

 

_ “Good choice.”  _ Kylo’s aura shifted, he no longer felt the singe of humor,  _ “Can I come see you? Please.” _

 

_ “Do you promise not to attack me?”  _

 

Kylo immediately projected feelings of guilt and sorrow. 

 

_ “I shouldn't have lashed out. I should have been civil. I'll leave my saber in my quarters if that makes you feel more comfortable.” _

 

He's concerned for my comfort (possibly safety) around him? What? 

 

_ “Yeah actually, that really does.” _

 

_ “I'll be there soon.” _

  
  


Oh fuck. He's coming here. I invited him! WHAT THE FUCK BRAIN! Okay… OKAY! I got this. Hopefully. Rampaging towards my set of large suitcases, I ungracefully demolished through them looking for a decent shirt to wear. There were OBVIOUSLY ones I could have just thrown on. But the shirt I was now wearing, shamelessly I might add (okay, BIT of shame) has the First Order symbol with Kylo’s saber on it. Well, might as well look around my new place.

 

The walls could use some decorating, the black durasteel look is kinda cool though. The living area, spacious and sleek. The couch looked as though it'd never been used, like ever. A full kitchen was off to the side, all dark gray and black countertops. A small black painted wooden dining table next to the trash chute. Making my way to the bedroom, the full King sized bed didn't escape my view. A KING SIZED BED? ALL TO MYSELF?? I'VE BEEN USING A TWIN MATTRESS FOR AGES!

 

Running towards the bed at full speed, I threw myself onto the charcoal colored linens. Silk, holy mother of doge, I’ve only slept in silk sheets once and that was at a hotel. Not wanting to leave my new bed (hhhnngh), I made my way to the refresher. The automatic doors hissed showing me my own bathroom. No more sharing. No more having to wait for ages to pee till the roommate got the fuck out. BLESS THIS! WHATEVER HAPPENED, BEST FUCKING THING  **EVER** ! I decided to test the shower for the ever so lovely sake of curiosity. The water ran hot immediately and the water pressure. OH IRON LORDS! YES!

 

I turned off the water, speculating where to put my toiletries and shampoos around the bathroom. The mirror wasn't that large, perfectly okay with me. But the counter, MASSIVE. These quarters were definitely made for an officer. A high ranking one at that. Damn. The room chimed just like that of a doorbell, giggling to myself, knowing just who it was. I skipped to the front door of my quarters. 

  
  


There he stood, helmet snug on his head and the shawl over him creating a menacing look. He didn't take notice of my shirt, not even a glance down at my chest where his saber practically glowed across my boobs. He probably thinks it's rude to stare at someone's chest. Good on you Kylo. Color me impressed. You SOMEHOW have okayish manners.

 

I motioned for him to enter. Kylo nodded briefly before quickly invading my space of soon to be operations, I could smell him as he entered. Sandalwood and leather and surprisingly of cinnamon with mixtures of smells I couldn't recognize. Oh my lanta. The doors automatically shut upon his entering, stupid things, I don't know how to lock the doors. Forget it, whatever. 

 

The hiss of his helmet pulled me away from fumbling with the lock on the automatic doors. Slowly, I turned to face him. He was closer than I thought, within reaching distance. His soft raven locks cascaded down his face. His expression was completely unreadable. He reached out as he advanced towards me. Behind me, I heard a loud clunk behind me.  _ Oh, he locked the doors. Okay.  _

 

“The light in you is maddening. But the pull you have on me, it's intoxicating,” He tensed his shoulders slightly looking away. His gaze regained intensity, “I sense how you feel about me.” He paused only to chuckle, yet continued his strut towards me like a predator stalking his prey. 

 

“Your mental walls; impressive as they are, I still can feel it, the conflict inside. I feel that way constantly, always in turmoil. Eternally at war with myself. Even at the temple; with the other students, I felt that way. And for the first time, I don't feel alone. With you, I feel acceptance. That exhilarant empathy towards me. One side of me hates you for it, but the other wants to hold you and never let go.” 

 

He swallowed hard, his Adam's apple bobbing. He searched my eyes for clues to stop. Sure, I loved his character more than I should. I do empathize with him because I understood why he constantly lashed out. Towards Snoke, his uncle and his parents. Kylo’s future was already planned for him, he wanted to create his own and would do anything to achieve it. Even if that meant killing his family, but, I saw it on his face. He took no pleasure in it. He hates himself for it. He hates himself for wanting to hurt others to accomplish his goals. I felt the same way, really.

 

I did shit jobs to escape my parents, to move out and be my own person. My lashing out was mainly self destruction. Which was sorta better? I guess. I didn't want to hurt people. But when I lashed out, I emotionally hurt people. Which can be, and in my humble opinion, just as bad.

 

Even though my parents are divorced, I still had to escape both of them. They were both toxic people, constantly fighting and throwing things at each other. Dragging us kids into arguments that lead to an assault against each other and us younglings. I learned from the best, I guess. 

 

Kylo trapped me into a corner, my back firm against the locked doors of my quarters. He approached me, stopping himself to remove a leather glove, his dominant right hand extended out. His face looked to be on the verge of tears. 

 

“Please, I have no one else who understands.” 

 

I desperately want to take his hand. My inner turmoil took over. I hesitantly extended my hand to meet his. Kylo’s eyes widened by every inch as I closed the gap between our fingers. My hand met the warm flesh of his. An electric sensation surged through my fingers into his, forcing him to let go of my hand in panic. 

 

He grabbed for my hand again, pressing it against his chest. Feeling the erratic beat of his heart, it instantly calmed my anxiety. Kylo’s shoulders dropped as he decompressed from the tension he had created. His breathing hitched, stroking the back of my hand. 

 

“Thank you.” He whispered as he pulled me close. He smoothed my hair back, breathing in deeply. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to my betas! 
> 
> <3


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, sorry I've been away. I had some extensive surgery done and I hardly had any motivation to write. Mainly because I was extremely drugged and my sleep schedule was all over the place. The surgery was a success and I learned I had Stage IV Endometriosis. I now have a treatment plan in place with my OBGYN (I think that's what they're abbreviated as). And I'm moving forward. It's been almost a month since the surgery and I'm still getting ghost pains because my Fallopian tubes were removed as well as my left ovary along side built up tissue and cysts surrounding my uterus. 
> 
> Sorry for the TMI but that's what's up. Doing a lot better now and even returned to work with light duty. Please, be patient with me as I get back into the groove of writing. 
> 
> <3

Did that just really happen? Kylo left me after pulling me into a bear hug. I didn't know what to do, but, I did hug him back. I enjoy giving hugs on occasion. And saying I've hugged Kylo Ren. Oh, please. I was obviously going to hug back. My crush on him (cough, and Hux) only intensified when I saw them in person. WHY AM I LIKE THIS? Because I'm a notorious fangirl who happens to like fictional characters. Buuuut, they're alive and well (here, anyway.). Am I losing my mind? Have I lost it? Am I dreaming this? Being here is too real for a dream. Hallucinating? That’s could be probable. Yet, it seems real. I would assume so do most delusions. Fuck this, I'm laying down.  


  


I plopped on my bed, taking in the silk sheets. After a couple of hours of light napping, I got restless. You know, I might as well set up shop. Seems like I’ll be here for a while. Shuffling through my suitcases, I found my hygiene products. Slowly dragging myself to the bathroom, I placed my soaps and various supplies in all the spots I had thought about earlier. Well, my bathroom finally looks like it's been used. Small bonus, I guess.

  


Going through my previously demolished suitcase, I neatly folded the shirts and pants I had scattered around the small area. You know, I'm actually surprised Kylo didn't mention NOR glance at the destroyed area with underpants and shirts scattered everywhere off to the side of the double automatic doors. Oh Jesus, if he did… Fuck no. Don't even think about it. Fold the clothes all nicely, there we go. Setting the other suitcase on it's side, I methodically mirrored my previous work, tucking in the assorted clothes into the black dressers. 

  


Pulling my backpack away from the carnage of clothes, I let out a massive sigh. Only been away for twenty-seven hours and I surprisingly missed my old life. My old life (I don't know why I keep calling it that)... It sucked. Shitty job, shitty home life (it's not bad… Just not ideal.). My constant anxiety didn't help. But here, here I feel like a queen. I feel powerful! Mainly because well, I am. But, I missed everything attached to the life I had. 

  


I miss my friends and my Xbox, primarily. Good thing I have my laptop and the couple of games I got on it. But, my backpack is full of something else entirely. When I travel, I get nervous. And when I get nervous, I snack. Yep, 1110%. My backpack is full of snacks; ranging from Skittles to beef jerky. I got it all and I have no shame in it. Total snacker here, but I gotta figure out how to make this shit last. Fucks sake, I don’t want to ration it. I want to gobble it all up and fuck the latter. 

  
  


Buuuuut, I know better. I’ll hate myself if I do that. With my large backpack in hand, I headed to the kitchen. Skittles, various bags of chips ranging from Doritos to Fritos, a plethora of jolly ranchers. Man, junk food galore is what I have here. Even a few twinkies. Jeebus, I can’t believe I eat this shit. It’s so good though, I can’t help myself. Setting the mass of junk onto the table, I saw my computer and my phone, tucked onto a small charging station. Niiiiice. Picking up my phone, I sought my favorite app; Spotify. Tapping my finger onto the playlist that held a special place in my heart, Lorde’s song Blood and Glory began to play around my room.  _ What the hell?  _ I projected. Kylo heard my call, his Force aura at my back. 

  


_ “I knew you'd want to play music. I tinkered a bit, I assumed you'd like to have your music play through the rooms sound system. Consider it my apology for tampering with your devices. But, I consider the surprise a success regardless.” _

  


_ “Well, you assumed correctly.”  _ I felt him smile a wide grin, his light shining through. 

  


_ “Good, I'm glad. Please enjoy. I’ll return shortly, Hux called a meeting.” _  With that, he faded away. 

  


“Thank you, Kylo Ren.” I said aloud, enjoying the bliss of the music. Bobbing my head to the song, I put away my snacks into the cupboards. Grabbing onto my favorite bag of chips, I lowered the bag, eyeing it. The blue of the plastic shined bright making me miss Earth even more. Making me miss home, my roommates, my godson, my parents, surprisingly. 

  


Despair grew in my belly and the anxiety crippled me; I screamed as loud as I could, gripping my head in a stupid attempt to calm myself down. Kylo’s aura was back instantly, the cloak of darkness a shroud over me. 

  


_ “What's wrong?”  _

  


_ “I'm scared, fuck I'm pathetic.” _

  


_ “No! No, don't you say that. You're magnificent.  _

  


_ “Far from it fuckboy! I'm a breathing disaster. Add a ticking time bomb to the list, too.”  _

  


_ “Fuckboy?” _

  


_ “Ugh, just… No. I'm not explaining shit.” _

  


Hearing Kylo’s huff caused me to get even more upset. Fuck, he wouldn’t understand. Would he? Letting out a loud sigh, I slid across to where I had placed my snacks. Opening the lowest drawer, I was greeted to a large Snickers bar. Oh wow, fucking ironic. “You seem hangry, eat a Snickers!” My face dropped, staring at the candy bar. Well, I AM hungry. 

  


Devouring the Snickers bar in record time, I smiled with chocolate covering my lips. Oh my fucking god, I’m disgusting. Smiling to myself, I thought about what my waifu (my bestie) would say. She’d probably just call me gross then say YYASS QUEEN. Oh, I made myself sad again. I’ll never see her again… Fuck. 

  


Wiping my tears off my cheeks as well as the chocolate covering my lips, I coughed lightly. Holy shit, I’m a mess. I gotta get it together. Kylo’s Force aura was still hovering over me like a guardian, making sure I really was okay.

  


_ “Kriff Hux, I’m coming back.” _

  


_ “Did you really just say ‘fuck Hux’? But don’t you have to go to a meeting?” _

  


_ “To hell with Hux, my apprentice is more important than whatever quarrel he has. He's most likely going to complain the entire time. That’s all he ever does.”  _

  


_ “Can we watch some movies? I need a distraction and watching stuff on Netflix has always helped me before.” _

  


_ “Obviously, I don’t know what Netflix is, but if it helps you, I’ll gladly be there.” _

  


Grabbing my laptop, I set it on the small coffee table. Walking back to my bags; I shuffled through one of the large suitcases, finding my prized quilt. The blanket was made by my grandmother with fabric older than both of us combined, from my great great grandmother. Bouncing towards the couch, I plopped down to the far corner facing my bedroom. Searching through the files of my computer, I found Godzilla first. The classics were there, but no, 2014 Godzilla. My childhood reborn. Double clicking, the opening credits began. I smiled widely when I heard the theme music play through the room’s sound system.

  


Kylo was at my door, letting himself in with a small knock. A hiss preceded  a loud  _ clunk _ of his helmet, landing on the floor. The couch dipping down with his weight, the crackling of the leather as he shifted. Briefly looking over at him, I could see that he was uncomfortable. It was evident from the way his face contorted. I paused the movie, turning to face him; giving my best fake frown as I could before I spoke. 

  


“You know you can take off your boots right? Your shawl thing looks awkward -okay no… Your whole robes bullshit looks awkward. Take it off. Put your feet up and enjoy the movie. Please!”

  


Kylo only looked at me like I was insane before huffing a laugh when I pushed his shoulder whispering  _ ‘Come on’.  _ Standing up, he began to remove his various under robes, neatly folding the garments in a small pile next to his boots on the other side of the couch. Afterward, all that remained was him in his black wool socks, black pants, suspenders and a black tank top. Kylo sunk himself down onto the leather couch again, putting his feet up onto the coffee table, looking so much more relaxed. 

  


“Hell yeah!” I shouted; bending over, jumbling my blanket at my waist to start the movie again. Once again, Godzilla’s theme began to play loudly around my quarters. 

  


Over twenty minutes into the movie when Kylo asked his first question, completely taking me by surprise. 

  


“This is a movie?” He asked, looking to me only to find me with a Slim Jim halfway shoved in my mouth. He chuckled loudly, grasping the snack from my hand and taking a small bite for himself. I couldn't help myself, my face turned deep red. Kylo leaned in closer; taking in a deep breath as if he were smelling my hair. 

  


“Y-yes.” I chewed the inside of my cheek, doing my best to lean away from him. Yet, he was just as intoxicating to me as I am to him. The pull to the darkness. 

  


“Why do you conceal yourself from me?” 

  


_ Oh god. Oh no. Just  _ **_HAD_ ** _ to ask an embarrassing question?  _

  


“Because I'm an awkward turtle and you're-” Proceeding wolf whistle at him earning myself an intense laughter from Kylo. Unable to help myself, I began to laugh alongside him. JESUS, his laughter is infectious. 

  


“Well, I think you're just as gorgeous.” 

  


Well,  **THAT** stopped me in my tracks. 


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's been a bit since I've updated and I advanced the timeline a little. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy some angsty comedy. 
> 
> Sorry not Asari. 
> 
> Thanks to my betas! <3

" **G** **ET UP**!” Kylo’s mechanical voice shouted at me as he walked into my room without warning. He swiped the covers off of my body using the Force, causing me to shiver. It had already been a few months on this fucking ship and I'm still not used to the cold. Granted, I love the cold, but this? This bullshit is next level.

 

Kylo’s annoyance oozed off of him in waves. 

 

“FUCK YOU!” I shouted, unleashing a Force scream blast his way. Kylo was prepared this time and took the brunt of the scream with ease, shaking his core only slightly. I'm not in the mood for training. His training has been RELENTLESS. Exercising with practice sabers with each other. Lifting heavy training droids with the Force. It's been hell, is what I'm saying. 

 

“ **Get up** ! You have more training that we must complete.” 

 

“No!” I sent him crashing through the doors of my bedroom and out into the living area.  _ Motherfucker, not letting me sleep. Where's my  _ **_fucking coffee_ ** !  _ I need coffee before this bullshit.  _ I heard Kylo’s jumbled growling across the room, the voice modulator causing him to sound like a rabid animal. 

 

“You. Must. Train.” He snapped at me, forcing me out of the bed with an invisible pull. I flopped onto the cold durasteel floor; instantly shivering and cursing at the stupid beautiful man under the mask, knowing full well that son of a bitch was smiling. 

 

“I  _ hate _ you.” 

 

Kylo’s amusement surged like a virus, almost infecting me with his almost childlike delight. 

 

“Liar.” His voice was but a whisper even through the modulator. Tearing myself up from the floor, I ran towards the bed. Kylo stopped me mid run with a Force Lock, stopping me in my tracks, my arms in awkward positions. He trotted over to me, his Edge Lord swagger showing bright like Starkiller about to fire. He moved impossibly slow towards me, reaching out to stroke my hair lightly. The weird mangled breaths distorted by the mask.  _ The fucker is enjoying this. Well, of course he is.  _

 

“Yes, I am savoring this. All of it.” I looked at him with defiance, doing my best to show I was annoyed with my body locked in place with the Force. 

 

Speaking through clenched teeth, I told Kylo how much of a bitch move this was. Especially since he hasn't taught me how to use Force Lock yet. 

 

“In time, little one.”

 

“Don't call me that! You know I hate that!” I screamed. Kylo’s strength in the lock faltered and I took advantage by force screaming at him again, knocking him down to one knee. Obviously, he had been completely unprepared for the attack and left himself open. Nacho Supreme Leader would be rather displeased. Besides, if I can best him, Rey can easily still best him. 

 

It's been weeks, and I still haven't told him anything about the process to his future. There's nothing that can be said, though. This area in the timeline was never brought to light outside of Battlefront II’s campaign, but even that small detail has yet to happen. Let alone what Hux has planned for his dad and Phasma. General Cherry has been doing his best to avoid me. Or at least, to my knowledge. Kylo hasn't left me alone for the past few months. But, I'll give him some credit. He hasn't tried to invade my mind again. Although, Kylo is the reason why Hux has been avoiding me. No, I almost forgot. Armitage Hux is afraid of Force users. 

 

“I can feel you deliberating, little one.” He brought me out of my train of thought and I give him a ‘really bitch?’ look. His aura shifted to the same child-like amusement as before, his smile radiating through the helmet. 

 

“Care to share?” He smiled again, stroking the buzzed hair on the back of my head. 

 

“I don't even know if I can. I told Hux about it but he did exactly what I thought he would - dismissed me as a paranoid Force user. But, he doesn't understand. I know everything that's happened in the past and what is yet to happen.”

Kylo’s helmet was off in an instant, his eyes glaring into mine causing me to shrink down. 

 

“What?”

 

“Where I'm from, you're all characters in a story. Movies for entertainment.” Kylo continued to search for something in my eyes, a brief solace to see if I was lying. 

 

“Why would I lie? I watched how the Galactic Republic fell through the deception of Darth Plagueis known to you as the Emperor Palpatine. How the Empire forged itself, how Darth Plagueis tricked your grandfather into turning to the dark side to save his wife, Padmé Amidala...only to use to her life force to save his new apprentice, Darth Vader as she gave birth to your uncle and mother.”

 

Kylo looked at me as if I had fabricated the entire thing, like I was playing with his emotions. He stood abruptly, walking away from the couch. Rubbing his hands over his mouth, he let out the breath I didn't realize he was holding. 

 

“Let me see.” 

 

“There's some things I can't let you see. I've tried to tell you before. I know too much of your timeline. I can't alter it.” 

 

He raised his hand to my mouth, shushing me with his gloved fingers. 

 

“I understand. But please, I want to see.” 

 

I nodded at him, I turned to face him again crossing my legs as I moved. Kylo had his hands just beside my head and he coached me to calm my breathing, to let him in. 

 

Slowly, my mental walls came crashing down, hitting him with a fury of images from the surrounding timeline. 

 

Anakin Skywalker in the Clone Wars to when he turned to the darkside and attacked Obi-Wan Kenobi, images of when he choked his wife in anger, how he became Darth Vader by slaughtering children inside the Jedi Temple.

 

Kylo pushed further into my mind, images of Darth Vader turning on Palpatine to save Luke.

 

Flashes of Iden Versio. 

 

“You're going too far Kylo.”

 

“Please, just let me see.” I attempted to break the bond slightly but Kylo grabbed my head, letting the images pour out. Images of him using the Force on Del from Inferno Squad. Images of Jakku. Then, the final image; Rey. 

 

I Force screamed as loud as I could, launching Kylo across my quarters, huffing in anger. My mental walls back to their diligent defense. 

 

“HOW DARE YOU! I LET YOU IN ONCE. ONCE! AND THIS IS WHAT YOU DO?”

 

“I had to see.” He whispered, picking himself up off the floor. 

 

“You saw what you asked to see long before you saw Jakku, you sack of shit.” 

 

“What's on Jakku? Who's the girl? Please! I have to know.”

 

“No, you don't. Not yet. Get out. I won't be training today, at least not with you.” 

 

Kylo hung his head, turning from me to walk out of my quarters. Just at the door, himself stopped, his back to me. 

 

“I'm sorry, Rachel. I kriffed up. But I had to see, to know. I've been looking for him,” he chuckled a little “for what seems like an eternity.” 

 

“I can guarantee, Luke is NOT on Jakku.”

 

Kylo grabbed his helmet off the floor, proceeding to apologize again. 

 

“I kriffed up. How can I make it better? I can't lose what we have.”

 

“You should have thought about that before hand. Please, just go away. I'll call on you when I'm ready to talk.” 

 

He nodded, placing the creepy helmet of his back on his head and walking out of my quarters. 

 

Before the doors had shut completely, I broke down, tears flowing down my face, mind crushed by the overreach of trust. 

 

I openly projected these feelings to him as he left. 

 

Trotting over to my phone on the charging station, I tapped the First Order icon on the screen. It brought up the menu for whom I'd like to reach and I typed the name of the nurse who had helped me after my introduction to Snoke, Xara. Hitting the call button, something I rarely do. 

 

“Hello there, my dear. I haven't heard from you in the last month; I assumed your new medications were working splendidly.”

 

Hux had helped me acquire new medications for managing my mood swings. Funny enough, he was more than happy to help; other than that, he avoided me. Because if I remember correctly, and I quote, ‘I can't have another Kylo Ren on this ship’ and ‘At least you're trying to manage yourself’ were two of my personal favorites in the discussion. 

 

“Yes, I forget their names, but they've been working great so far. Thank you. But what about the sleep medication I had brought up. Are those back in stock?”

 

“Aye, you and Hux seem to both have horrible insomnia.” She heard my giggle and added on ‘forget I said that’. 

 

“I've never done you wrong Xara, I don't plan to now. I was just wondering if I could have the medication brought to my room after dinner if that were possible.”

 

“Oh, of course ma’am.” 

 

“Thank you, Xara.”

 

“Anytime, hun.” 

 

I clicked off the call, roaming across my phone again. Opening Spotify, I played  _ Sharp Edges  _ by Linkin Park. Reopening the First Order menu, I ordered myself a brunch. 

 

Because you know, why not. Ghosting my fingers over General Hux, I hit text. 

 

_ Hey there General, heard from a little bird you have trouble sleeping too.  _

 

Didn't even have to wait for a reply. In an instant, I got:

 

**_Who told you that?_ **

 

_ Oh, nobody important. But it makes us have another thing in common.  _

 

**_Ugh, fine yes. I have trouble sleeping. There's too much to do in one day and I rarely get sleep._ **

 

_ You've been avoiding me, Armitage.  _

 

**_No, you're wrong there. I've been avoiding Ren. You and him have been almost inseparable for the last couple months and I detest him._ **

 

_ Ooooh, what gave that away?  _

 

**_His unbearable mood swings? His childlike personality?_ **

 

_ You do realize he's just a broken person who hates himself right? And he lashed in the only way he knows how.  _

 

**_For the love of… I don't care._ **

 

_ You should.  _

 

**_Why? He's literally a blight._ **

 

_ Because.  _

 

**_That's not a reason._ **

 

_ He's your second in command?  _

 

**_Phasma is my second in command. And she is much more level headed._ **

 

_ Your funeral, my dude.  _

 

**_What is that supposed to mean?_ **

 

_ Oh, you'll see.  _

 

**_Is Ren plotting something?_ **

 

_ What? No. He's going to be too focused on killing the remaining Jedi once Snoke gives the order. I'm just talking generally. Oh, that's terrible. General. General Hux. Heh. I'm dumb. D U M B.  _

 

**_Snoke should give him the order, he'll be off my kriffing ship!_ **

 

_ That… Yeah… I can see why you'd want him off the ship. He destroyed another terminal didn't he?  _

 

**_Yes! He destroyed the terminals next to your quarters._ **

 

_ Oh. That. Funny story.  _

 

**_Stop! I don't want to hear it._ **

 

_ He breached my trust. That's all you're gonna get.  _

 

**_Oh, so now you see he isn't worthy of trust?_ **

 

_ No, I never said I completely trusted him. I trusted him not to breach my mind because he trained me. I stupidly assumed he wouldn't try. But once he got access to my head, he poured as much as he could out.  _

 

**_Sounds like Ren. Always the child. You're still stupid for trusting him._ **

 

_ Noted.  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments welcome! 
> 
> <3


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry it's taken this long to update. Shit it the fan and well... New games were released. Etc. 
> 
> I kinda sorta rushed this but I hope you enjoy!

Months passed as I continued to ignore Kylo Ren as best as I could. Where I could not, I remained professional towards him (much to his disdain). Practicing saber dueling with Kylo and deflecting training with Phasma.

 

Our current session was saber defenses with her metal staff. My wooden practice saber splintering on each deflect. One, two, three strikes and my little practice saber was toast. But, I had managed to deflect all her heavy hits. Rather proud of myself. I've seen her actresses strikes in Game of Thrones. And THAT is a whole lot of NOOOPE. 

 

Phasma patted her bright blonde hair dry with a black towel, smiling at me brightly. 

 

“You've improved from your first day.” I snickered at her comment. 

 

“Oh? You mean twacking myself across the face with the practice saber? Or when Kylo threw it at me thinking I was paying attention making my face plant with it? OR, are we talking about when I hit Kylo’s knuckles on accident?”

 

“‘On accident’ she says.” It was Phasma’s turn to laugh at me. My smile dropped to a sneer, only increasing her giggles. 

 

“You fuck. It was an accident!” 

 

“Sure it was. I've trained with that monster. He's fast and he's a solid hitter. You my dear, wanted payback.”

 

“I KNOOOW! But, it WAS an accident.” I groaned, picking up my towel off the padded gym floor, throwing it at her, hitting her across the face. Phasma only smiled, peeling the towel off. She rolled it twice, making the familiar ‘I'mma getchu face” and whacked me in the arm with the towel. 

Hissing, I rubbed the spot she hit. 

 

“Phasma, you son of a bitch. You're lucky I surprisingly like you. I assumed you'd be a cold hearted bitch.”

 

“Only in command mode.”

 

“True. You are a cunt in your captain commander ways.” 

 

“I drive my Stormtroopers to be the best.”

 

“No, you drive them to the breaking point. You fucking asshats won't even give them names. They're numbers. It's disgusting.”

 

“Not this again Rachel, we've had this argument multiple times. And it's literally gotten us nowhere.”

 

“And I will continue to attack the values you hold over the First Order. They're pathetic and vile. Where I'm from, it would be considered crimes against humanity and you'd be put into prison for these methods of obtaining an army. My country relied on volunteers from different ranges. Like my dad, who had a choice; prison, or military. He chose military. Or people wanting to gain citizenship to the country I lived in. Or, people who use the military to go to school. There's many reasons. For valor, for just wanting to kill shit? I dunno. Many reasons. But forcing someone and attempting to program their identities, that's wrong.”

 

Phasma looked down clearly thinking hard about her next move. Her bright blue eyes returned to mine, practically on fire. 

 

“If you think you can shame be because of my General's methods-”

 

“No! I shame you for blindly following. It's disgusting. Specially when it was the Empire who destroyed your planet with Operation Cinder!” Phasmas’ eyes widened, completely in shock. 

 

“What?” She whispered, barely audible. 

 

“The Empire is the reason why Parnassos’ environment is in shackles. Before you were born, they used satellites in orbit to disrupt the climate. Many worlds were hit, but many of them were Imperial sympathizers. Vardos, Burnin Konn, Candovant, Abednedo, Commenor and Naboo were also targeted. Naboo was saved by the Rebels. Your planet and many others weren't so lucky. Vardos is a wasteland now. A literal graveyard.”

 

“My planet was always peaceful with the Empire.They did trade on many occasions. It was always civil!” Phasma looked at me, panic was apparent in her eyes. She didn't know. Of course she didn't know. General Cherry never told her. He needs her too much. 

 

Sensing the swell of pride from the one and only Prince of Darkness behind the double mirror, I smiled briefly. 

 

“As I said. Don't blindly follow if you want to be a part of the First Order like I do. But I still have MANY reservations of what bullshit they've pulled. At least the Resistance cares about its people. The First Order should do the same. Be it officers, Stormtroopers or even Force users. I told Hux that kindness and empathy are the simplest currency when we first met. Guess you need that lesson as well.” 

 

“I'll keep that in mind. Doesn't mean you've dissuaded me. I respect and trust the General immensely but, you've given me a lot to think about. Thank you.” She gave me a firm handshake, our palms covered with our sweat. Gross. But for her, I know what it meant. She respected me. In her own murdery way I guess. But I could feel the uncertainty. She doubted me. Well, I would too to be honest. 

 

Kylo's dark shroud entered the fold of my mind yet again. Trying his best to enter, hoping to see his future again, to see Rey. 

 

_ ‘Stop Kylo.’  _

 

_ ‘I just want to see again, please.’ _

 

_ ‘You lost that privilege and you continue to prove that you will invade again. So stop, this is the last time I will ask nicely.”  _

 

I heard Kylo's signature deep growl that I've grown accustomed too over the past five months. 

 

_ ‘Fine, you win. I won't bother you again until you deem necessary.” _

 

The Dark Kylo Shroud immediately dissipated, leaving me almost blank. More unnerving than anything else. Fucking bastard. 

 

Rage boiled through my core, shaking, I punched the durasteel wall, letting out a shaky breath. The wall bends as if made out of paper. My fist doesn't resonate with pain, despite how hard I hit it. Slowly pulling it back from the wall, I stare at it like it's been chopped off. Shaking my head, I realize the other walls now have dents as well. What in the name of hell is going on here?

 

Too busy studying my own hand and the various dents in the walls, General Cherry managed to sneak up on me. Much to his amusement at getting a small jump out of me. 

 

“Jumpy are we?” His smile, almost a sneer. Twinkling with a reeeeal fucking weird delight. 

_ Woah, okay there Hux. Pump the breaks.  _

 

“Oh ya, obviously you missed this!” Hux snide amusement left him as if his ginger self stole a soul. He paled, waltzing over to the closest wall near him. Rubbing his fingers across the cold metal wall, shock radiated from him. 

 

“You did this?” He whispered, barely audible. 

 

“I- uh. I didn't mean to do it. I punched this wall here and uh-.” I scratched my nose, trying to think of a way to say it without off-putting him.  _ Fuck it.  _

“All the walls have similar dents. I don't know how it fucking happened, but, there it is.”

 

Hux opens his mouth to demand an explanation on why I was damaging his ship before immediately shutting it. 

 

“Fucking? What does the act of procreation have to do with this?"    
  


My eyes go wide, stifling a laugh. Hux standing there, literally waiting for an explanation. I begin to sweat, realizing I'm going to have to explain it to him. 

 

“Uhhh, Hux… You know I'm not from around here.” I said, rubbing the back of my neck awkwardly. Coughing slightly at the lump in my throat. 

_ Fucks sake this is awkward.  _ Couldn't help myself though, I began to snicker loudly. I'm the only one who gets what I mean. I'm a one man army of shit humour. I begin to shake while thinking of the absurdity of it all. Once I calm down, I notice the bemused, if a little bit annoyed, look of General Cherry as I begin my explanation.

 

“Yes. I do.” He retorted. Hux pulled at his jacket, straightening it and his back. 

 

“Well, where I'm from; fuck has many so meanings, but is mostly used to express frustration, anger, and rage. Sometimes annoyance.”  
  
General Cherry shakes his head, then scratches it. _He can't be this dense, can he?_   
  
"Sorry," he states, “This blasted bug bite has been bothering me all day. You were saying?"

 

"In this case, I was expressing frustration due to the fact I have no clue about what happened. It is extremely aggravating and I felt  _ fucking _ was the right expression. The word, not the action. God, that was extremely formal." I shivered as if disgusted.

 

He opens his mouth, closes it, and runs his chin as if in thought.

 

"That is fascinating. I must hear more about your world sometime. Perhaps after I inspect the troops, we do have a visit from the Supreme Leader soon." General Cherry drawls off; contemplating. This makes me narrow my eyes at him.  _ The hell is he thinking about _ . He turns to leave me, before stopping himself. 

 

“Oh, do stop damaging my ship. It's worth a fortune. I won't be so lenient with you like I am with the Commander.”

 

Using the Force to stop him from leaving the training center, I pulled him back to me. 

 

“Who's bullshiting now? You hate him. And he scares the shit out of you. Don't even.”

 

“Don't even?” His face contorts with confusion. 

 

“Earth expression. Basically means don't lie.”

 

"I-I am not lying," he stammers, attempting to maintain his composure, "I am extremely lenient with the Commander."   
  
"Only because you're on a leash." I state confidently. Amazingly, Hux is able to come off looking a little worried; confused kitty, somehow. I honestly can't tell but, he looks like he's flinching. His face grimaced like he was snarling. He turns to leave again, only to be pulled back to me with the Force. I lean close to him, our faces inches apart. Bringing a hand up to his temple, I pressed gently. 

 

_ The mind. Focus. He will tell you what you want to know one way or another. Be it from his lips or yours.  _

 

Images of Hux in his youth flashes through my mind. An angry drunk Brendol Hux, beating his son. A childhood I empathize with from my own. Images of Armitage being tied up, a leash around his neck. Quivering and afraid. 

  
  


"Sometimes your father would come home angry. Sometimes drunk. By chance, both, he would drink himself to sleep and forget I existed. When he was drunk, he liked to put a leash on you and tie you up. It would be for a few hours at least. If you were unlucky, it would be until he woke up the next morning.”

 

“H-How?” Hux blood boiled, I could feel it. He became enraged. His face reddened, eyes became slightly bloodshot. 

 

“Don't you dare do that again!!” He grabbed my shoulders, throwing me to the ground. Making a fist to hit me, instincts took over, my hands raised to protect myself. 

 

Rage erupts from me like the second eruption of Pompeii.  The next thing Hux knows, he is being slammed brutally against the durasteel walls and roof. I could so easily crush his windpipe or stop his heart, but I continue to toss him around until I hear Ren's heavy footsteps heading my way. Flinging Hux down to the floor; I ran over to him, dipping low so he could hear my hushed words.

 

"If you EVER put your hands on me again! So help me, I will finish the job. Do you understand?” I seethed, venom dripping with every word. He nodded slightly, passing out from the pain I had inflicted. 

 

Kylos dark aura covered me in its usual dark blanket shroud. 

 

“Did he hurt you?” Kylos distorted mechanical voice boomed behind my ear. Little did I realize, my hands were tight fists and my body shook slightly. 

 

“He tried to.” Kylo looked from the back of my head, down to Huxs’ unconscious body. A warm hand placed on my shoulder was definitely not what I what expecting, I turned to face him. The gut feeling that Kylo understood. 

 

“Come, Snok wishes to see you.” He turned to leave before stopping when sensing my conflict. 

 

“I'll send medical for him. Training gone awry. It's happened before. And he'll be too embarrassed to say anything.”  _ Fuck.  _ I can feel the guilt settling down in the pit of my stomach, a small aching lingering. 

 

“Come, it's time to build your lightsaber.”


End file.
